Societal Pressures Men Face

In the documentary of Donald Trump by PBS we view what we would consider ’toxic masculinity’. In the text “Masculinity as Homophobia”, Michael Kimmel describes homophobia as the fear that other men will not only unmask them, but emasculate them and reveal to the world they do not measure up to be ‘’real’’ men. In this text the definition of homophobia is different than what we would consider it to be today. Today homophobia is defined” as a dislike or prejudice against homosexual people”. I disagree with Michael Kimmel using the word homophobia in this context because I believe it is misleading and may be misinterpreted. This text was written dozens of years ago, therefore I understand that the language used, and perspectives may differ from recent thoughts on the subject.

In this day and age whether you’re a male or female or another identity, ‘’every mannerism, every movement contains a coded gender language’’. What this would imply is that every action you perform can be linked to feminine or masculine attitudes. We tend to impose gender roles on individuals and categorize them based on behaviours. Men’s lives are structured around relationships of power , how much power they have can determine their value. By reinforcing stereotypes we are promoting toxic masculinity,conformity and repressing authenticity.

If you were/are a man and had/have stereotypically effeminate behaviours you were believed to be homosexual. Most men (with fragile egos) don’t want to be labeled homosexual as this invalidates their masculinity. I believe this is how Michael Kimmel thought of masculinity as homophobia, because it is homophobic towards gay men to the extent that their sexual orientation would make them less of a man.

‘’Fear makes us ashamed, because the recognition of fear in ourselves is proof to ourselves that we are not as manly as we pretend, that we are.’’ -Kimmel

Manhood may be discriminated on the basis of race, social class, ethnicity, age, or sexual preference. This is why many men may feel powerless, because we’ve constructed the rules of manhood in a way that allows only a small percentage of men to ‘’feel like Trump does’’, that they are “the most daring and agressive’’. This small percentage of men are usually middle class or higher, straight and white.

Manhood can be positive but most of it is derived from toxic masculinity. ‘’Masculinity has become a relentless test by which we prove to other men, to women, and ultimately to ourselves, that we have successfully mastered the part.’’ I believe it’s important that we begin embracing feminine and masculine energies. There’s a certain social pressure to be one way or the other, masculine or feminine, but most people possess traits from both and demonstrate more psychological androgynous behaviour.We have to accept that manhood is ambiguous and is subjective

What I learned that I did not know beforehand was the theory that Donald Trump wanted to run for president out of spite towards Obama. When Obama is teasing Donald Trump at the ceremony, this hurts his very fragile ego. Growing up privileged, he was used to always getting his way, in that instance it was one of the few moments where he ever felt humiliated and powerless. Trump looks at people as being losers or winners and in that moment he did not feel like a winner. That infuriated him, however he kept it classy and acted as if it didn’t bother him. The fact that his rage compelled him to run for office, in efforts to be‘’the better man’’ shows how insecure Trump is in his manhood.

-Stéphanie Mallick-Pilon

Group Project Reflection

My group and I wanted to create more awareness in regards to the topic of sexual violence. Yes it may be true that there are plenty of services offered (RCEW), however you have to search these platforms to access them. Many people are not aware simply because they don’t research the topic (RCEW).

What our group came up with, was the integration of information in a video game platform. The target audience would be video game players, ( which is a gender neutral audience however studies prove there are more male gamers). The objective would be that by consenting to view a video that is approximately 30 seconds or less, and then the player would gain points and certain rewards.

We chose to use animals to target prejudices. In one of our examples there was a sheep and a wolf, in most instances you could correctly assume the perpetrator is the wolf. In our sceanario the wolf is the”victim’’ and the sheep the instigator ,this puts an emphasis on the saying “a wolf in sheeps clothing”.

What inspired our idea was accessibility. What I am implying by this is that we wanted to create a media platform that could be accessed through entertainment. At first when brainstorming , we thought of putting our work as advertisements in games. This however may have cause negative or little impact, due to the fact ,the player would be in a negative mindset since we have just inturpted their game time without offering any potential benefits.

I believe that our idea will be successful because we are giving people a choice. In reality and virtual reality everyone just wants to be successful. By offering rewards for viewing our advertisement this will increase the likelihood of agreeing participants.

We live in a technological world,most of my generation is addicted to cellphones. (Jantsch) Creativity seems to have gotten down because with constant stimulantaton from our screens which doesn’t allow our brains a break (Rainn). Why do you think that often,peoples best ideas are thought of in the shower? Simple, there’s no screens in the shower.

When advertising any idea, you have to think of which ways will get the most people on board with your idea (Jantsch).Although it’s probably a good idea to try to get people to play less video games, instead of potentially increasing their screen time with our advertissments, we have to look at the greater of the two evils. Its much harder to convince people to stop playing video games then it simply is to teach people about consent.

Bibliography

5 Reasons Why You Must Advertise. (J.Jantsh.). https://www.google.ca/amp/s/ducttapemarketing.com/5-reasons-why-you-must-advertise/amp/About sexual violence. (n.d.). https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/about-sexual-violence/myths-vs-realities/Are we addicted to technology? (n.d.).

http://learnenglishteens.britishcouncil.org/magazine/science-technology/are-we-addicted-technologyNational Resources for Sexual Assault Survivors and their Loved Ones. Rape Crisis England & Wales (RCEW.). https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones ( Rainn)

-Stephanie Mallick -Pilon

-Stephanie Mallick-Pilon

Fantastic Four

When writing this blog I realized that visibility might be the biggest issue. Our generation is always online, why is that I have to do research in order to actually see any sexual violence campaigns. We have to use any means possible to help educate and inform individuals especially our youth. Reason being is that the youth of now will be the leaders of tomorrow. Campaigns like #DearDaddy Target an audience of young children and parents. This video truly captured my attention. The first time I had seen it was during our last class. It made me reflect and think about my father. This campaign sparked an idea in my head, to advertise in a way that appeals to the viewers emotions. I believe this would be the most effective because when you feel something it’s hard not to think about it.

In the following paragraph I briefly wrote about the issues we discussed in class.

The generalized idea that assumes only women can get assualuted. Preconceived notion that men aren’t “victims”. There are stereotypes of masculinity and femininity. Types of clothes do not mean consent. We need more than just a verbal consent. Words aren’t always the Key to consent you have to look at the physical and body signals of a person. We should raise our children the same way regardless of gender.

Yes it may be true that heterosexual women are the main targets of sexual violence but they are not the only victims. What I think is also an issue is the representation of LGBTQ+ community. We have to change our attitudes towards sexual violence we need to create more visibility and representation of all to address this issue. With media sometimes it’s hard to find the post again that’s why if using online platforms we have to minimize the domino effect.

#IBelieveYou campaign for sexual assault awareness & #SaySomething campaign

What made this campaign stand out compared to all the other campaigns is the harsh reality behind it. We live in a world where most of us are consumed by our phones. It was striking to me to see in the #saysomething videos, the text messages were written in a way you could connect with. Not necessarily connect with the exact situation but with the context because of the way the people spoke. The text messages were casual and didn’t seem scripted to a point that the scenario was unrealistic.

The third video (About Julie) delievered the most important message in my opinion that, “ It’s never the victims fault if someone sexually assaults them, the only one to blame is the perpetrator”. Women in particular get blamed because of the clothes they decide to wear. No piece of clothing is “asking for it “. This is quite frustrating, I understand this myself because in the past I dressed more “feminine/revealing“ and got more unwanted attention for it. It’s insane how differently people will treat you just based off appearances. However victims/survivors come in all shapes and sizes as do perpetrators. You can never know someone’s true intentions and never know who’s been hurt if you don’t #saysomething.

I found the second campaign quite appealing in comparison to the other movements I researched. What I mean by this is that the #IBelieveYou campaign Is a softer approach to sexual assault victims. Campaigns like this increase public support for survivors, it has been shown that higher public support leads to an increase in the reporting of sexual assault. The world we live in has an increasing amount of fake news and outlets such as social media make it easy to post information in seconds.

Social media can create unrealistic expectations and can influence people to act a certain way. In the YouTube video no one speaks , and there is text written on a few instances. There is only music playing in the background, this adds an emphasis on the tone of the video due to the fact that you read the text in your own voice which helps to put things in your perspective.

It is hard for survivors to share their story ,often times they don’t want to be seen as a victims. When you share what has happened to you people look at you differently. People often won’t report to the police cases of sexual assault because they do not want to talk about something they wished never happened in the first place. Survivors don’t want to relive the trauma that they have been trying to repress.

Everyone’s trying so hard to be perfect that sometimes we don’t allow ourselves to be vulnerable. What I am implying by this is, often we repress any kind of negative emotions because we don’t want to seem weak. What we want is to be as strong of a person that we have convinced everyone else we are.

We are all here living, hoping to be heard. Just telling someone you believe them has a bigger impact then you think.

-Stéphanie Mallick-Pilon

By Stephanie Mallick-Pilon

Gender Relations In Indigenous & Contemporary Western Cultures

Gender relations in aboriginal culture are not what is prioritized, unlike contemporary western culture that likes to put an emphasis on gender. In our society we impose gender roles and use masculinity and femininity to characterize worth. Those who don’t follow the ‘’expectations’’ of how their biological gender is ‘’suppose’’ to act are often oppressed for it. When you don’t conform to stereotypes this often angers people because they don’t know what to expect from you. What infuriates them is not knowing how to respond to you.

This can connect to indigenous people not being respected, simply by being themselves. For aboriginals spirituality has to do with where your place is in the world. How you fit in your environment and how your surroundings shape you as a person. A concept believed by aboriginals is that ‘’ the door is never locked’’ they are very welcoming individuals , its in their nature.

Whereas Caucasians\ others tend to be more possessive and want to own materials, land and anything valuable to increase the power\authority that they have. Their perspective was less about connecting with their environment and more about finding ways to make the most profit. In regards to gender relations europeans had a more patriarchal view on what gender represented. You had to be heterosexual and the wife had to obey the husband. The husband was in charge and the wife\ wives were inferior.

In a reference to the article with Jody Wilson- Raybould “in her tradition the Chiefs are always men but it is a woman who grooms them for leadership. The woman is known as Hiligaxste which means one who corrects the Chief’s Path.” I interpreted this passage as female empowerment for some reason. It demonstrates that the men had the authority but it was as if women guided them along the way.

-‘’No separation of science, art, religion, philosophy or aesthetics exists in indigenous thought; such categories do not exist ‘’

-Battise and Henderson , 2000

This quote is from the presentation of Diane Labelle, It truly captured my attention. It made me think how in our society we are always labelling things and people, we create divides that differentiates us from one another.

Modern system does not regonize indigenous education where their schools are being ignored. Our society does not recognize the way the aboriginal schools teach and marginalizes them.

Diane considers education as a transformative process of change for both learners and teachers.

Every individual has their own needs and wants ,not everyone has the same schedule. Education doesn’t only happen within a program but outside of the program as well. We don’t just learn within strict guidelines but by our own mindset as well. Learning is an individualized life-long process, what works for you might not for someone else. How learning correlates with gender relations is many gender roles are taught. If we understand how it is we learn ourselves this may help us keep an open mind to new perspectives. The indigenous teach their students in different manners, yet this does not mean their education is less valuable then our own contemporary western education.

By Stephanie Mallick-Pilon

Sophie Labelle is a cartoonist from Montreal that is well known for her comic series “Assigned Male” that have been out since 2014. Sophie grew up in a small town in the south shore. She has had to face plenty of obstacles, at only 13 years old she was kicked out of the house by her stepfather. Labelle then moved to Montreal when she was 16, where she found lots of support that helped her cope with bullying. Later on she studied at UQAM to become an educator. Sophie’s interest in teaching started because she wanted to help those whose feel marginalized at school, lgbt individuals, gender non conforming students etc feel like they were in a safe space. How her cartoonist career began ,was simply just simple fun with students,then the kids asked her to translate comics into English which caused the comics to gain popularity.

A key message I interpreted from the presentation was about being strong even when all the odds are against you. What I am implying by this is that over her life time Sophie had many haters, but she didn’t let that stop her. She even thought of them positively saying that “ my haters were my first dedicated readers, the haters did the work of advertisements”.

I spoke to some friends that attended the presentation. They agreed that sex is more of spectrum then a binary. That the majority of society believes that sexual oreintation is often attached with behaviour and how it is expressed via féminin or masculin or a mixture. People reacted quite well to the presentation, several years ago this event may have not even been possible.

After this event I became more informed about the injustices that trans people still face today. I was already aware that trans people are more marginalized then people who behave according to their biological gender. It was a shock to me, when I learned that trans people wouldn’t be able to have access to public services like healthcare just because they are trans. Trans people need these services often times even more then cis people do. There are also issues related to marriage, where people invalidate their identity, example a trans man and cis women marry and people label them as ‘’lesbians’’.This is invalidating his identity. This is terrible, but much worse can and has happened to trans individuals there are\have been many cases of murder.

The disclosure of being trans is a controversial topic. The debate of whether you should come out and say you’re trans and how the world reacts. You might not want to ‘’come out’’ for your own safety. If you’re in a transphobic environment that unwanted attention is undesirable. Some indivuals disclose that they are trans because when you’re part of a minority anything you do can be seem as educational. (Evidently,there are many reasons to not come out or to come out ,however it ultimately is subjective to the indivual and their current life situation. I wrote what I interpreted from the talk.)

The only aspect I think could be improved was the organization of the presentation. There could have been more structure with the information, but it was also that factor that made it more relatable. Yes, I would recommend this event to my friends, Sophie Labelle brings humor in LGBTQIA+ education. I believe that its important to inform the youth of today about the LGBTQIA+ even if they don’t associate themselves with the community.

Women’s Gender Studies Complementary

-Stephanie Mallick Pilon-

Oral presentation

Alicia Napoleon also know as “The Empress”

She was born January 26th, 1986 and is of Italian decent.

Alicia defines herself as a girly tomboy. The first sport she fell in love with was baseball and was told at five years old she couldn’t do it because she was a girl. Her father was a musically gifted entrepreneur while her mother was a model.

We were raised in different home environments, the men in her family discouraged her from participating in sports, whereas my father treated my brother and I equally and encouraged me to be active. Growing up my dad was even my soccer coach and we spend hours training together. Alicia mentioned that she was made fun of due to her muscular physique and I totally understand where she is coming from. In elementary school I was able to do some things not even the boys could do which made me stick out like a sore thumb. People treat you differently just because you’re strong.

The way I define inspirational is going against the mainstream. Alicia Napoleon inspires me to go against conformity to gender roles. She demonstrates female empowerment by her dedication to not only her sport but to her values. We need more representation of ‘’strong’’ women in . What influenced me to pick her for my presentation, is that she is someone I could connect with. I understood where she was coming from which I think is

important.

I could relate to her, because when you are a female athlete in a male dominated sports people believe this makes you less feminine. People treat you differently and you don’t get as much attention as other girls or you would receive the wrong type of attention.

“Some girls are too intimated and don’t want to get too involved in the sports because they don’t want to look too muscular or masculine. You shouldn’t be fearful of making your body strong it’s a beautiful thing.”

Alicia is very religious and believes a lot in god and the strength that comes with having faith. Religion has been a motivator for her when life becomes more difficult.

https://www.newsday.com/sports/boxing/alicia-napoleon-s-allure-video-1.20250309

Blog 4

Rage Becomes Her

What I found interesting was the example in which. ‘’In England in 2015 for example a woman doctor was denied access to the women’s changing room at the Cambridge gym that should join because the fitness companies automation system was programmed to code any customers using the prefix doctor as male.’’

It demonstrated a negative prejudice on what the role of women is supposed to be. The fact that there was no allotted code for a female doctor shows how much progress we’ve really been doing.

We like to believe things are getting better and that there is more equality between the genders. While there may be more equality in certain situations there is so much more that must be done. The world we live in today has what we call of a more ‘’silent’’ approach when dealing with ‘’discrimination’’. No one wants to be called racist, homophobic , sexist even if they are.

People do not want to the negative label around them concerning what they value and what their beliefs are. Nowadays most people will voice their opinions online,possibly anonymously to not receive backlash.

In the example of the gym ,there was not a sign saying we do not have a program code if you are female doctor. It was just not expected for a woman to have that high of an education to be a doctor.

This event did happen in 2015, it was not that long ago. No one was physically hurt in this situation but mentally yes. Imagine ,you have worked hard your whole life and obtained a doctorate ,and just when you think you’re able to obtain even more services, rights are actually taken away from you.

An excerpt from the text that also left me perplexed is why that, when asked what makes them furious or sad in intimate relationships, heterosexual women most commonly replied with betrayal and condescension in regards to men’s negative behaviours. Men responded with getting angry at women’s Response to their behaviours. This would mean that the reason men would get upset is because of their own actions/behaviours and the way it impacts their partners. Professor Ann Kring stated that ;‘’Women tend to be angered by the negative actions of men ,whereas men tend to be angered by woman’s negative emotional reactions and self-focused reactions’’.

Most husbands don’t enter marriage thinking about embedded gender privileges. They don’t believe that they have a higher status than women. As Chemaly mentioned there seems to be a ‘’second shift ‘’after a woman comes home from work. Only because she is female does she require to be the ‘’caregiver’’. The standard of men is that they go to work and provide for their families financially but the mother often times having a part-time job or job inferior to the male’s, comes home to then work again doing chores and child care. (Aka unpaid work).

Most people don’t talk about this because of the guilt that comes with it ,the fact that we have to take care of our loved ones. The reality is it is stressful always taking care of others when sometimes you just need to take care of yourself. When your maternal qualities are idealized ,it then requires constant suppression of negative emotions and it triggers high stress. ‘’Primary caregivers regardless of sex or at a greater risk of anger related mental health issues such as depression and anxiety’’.

”Feminism isn’t ruining marriage sexism and the persistent expectation of masculine entitlements are.’’

There is a difference in the way a man and a woman perceive marriage. What I believe would lessen the burden on a woman with regards to emotional lifting is to share household tasks and childcare with spouse/partner.

By working together to complete chores and other duties this allows the couple to spend more leisure time together. When you create time away from work or ‘’caregiving’’ duties ,this gives you time that you are in control of.

Have you ever watched a video where there is an advertisement, there’s some videos you can skip and others you are forced to watch. Notice next time, doesn’t it bother you much more when you can’t skip the ad.

There comes so much power when we are given a choice.

-Stéphanie Mallick Pilon-

“Difference and Domination: Individuals in Gendered Society”

Instituions are gendered because we allow them to be.

Holler believes that masculinity and femininity are taught behaviours. “By “cutting our own deal” with the dominant definitions of masculinity and femininity.” I agree with that statement, however if this is learned behaviour then why cant we teach equality among genders. Holler also called those who didn’t have the masculine\ feminine traits based on their gender “deviants”. That in social institutions those ‘’deviants’’ are disciplined, implying that they are forced to conform to what society expects from them. This supports the idea that there are no actual neutral spaces. What people may consider ‘neutral spaces’ is just the result of people modifying their behaviour to sameness. These individuals believe that ,by trying to all be the same this would create equality, however that is not reality.

When women enter gendered institutions , they face a dilemma in regards to their behaviour. Do they “act like a man” to make it to the top, or do they keep their femininity and deal with the consequences. What i am implying is in instituions like these being female is considered the minority. Minorities are more likely to be inferior to others because they fear that speaking up or going against someone who’s not a minority might put them in danger, since they are targeted as anything but victims.

I agree with the idea that institutions are gendered because of the way i was raised.

My parents had different approaches towards gender. I have a twin brother, growing up our personalities seemed to fit in the “wrong” gender. He was not athletic, quiet and passive, meanwhile, I was strong, competitive and loud. It was as if we were born in the wrong bodies. My father encouraged me to be active and even was my soccer coach for several years. My mother allowed me to play sports ,however she took every opportunity she could to tell me how dangerous it was and questioned why i was still playing. What also struck out to me was that it was always my sister or myself being called to do the dishes while my brother didn’t have to do anything besides play video games. With my father he would take my brother and i and split the tasks to do around the house. I found it a more fair and cooperative way to work.

The contradicting opinions of my parents taught me at a young age that the problem is not always men. Often, women blame men for gender inequalities they face. Women tend to not realize that they can be part of the problem too. They do this by reinforcing gender roles onto their children and raising young girls and boys differently.

When doing some research about gender inequalities in a sports institution i discovered

The FIFA World Cup for those of you who dont know is the largest football ( soccer) event in the world. The FIFA federation awards the Women’s World Cup 15 million US dollars in prize money, meanwhile, the Men’s World Cup was awarded 576 million US dollars. The difference is astonishing. Also that in England a women in the Women’s Super League receives an average 30,000$ a year ,while the men in the Premier League are paid an average of 2.9 million per year. These two leagues are at the same level of competition the only difference is the gender on the field. Even the name ‘Premier League’ itself is quite insulting to women if you think about it, in French Premier means first, its as if they’re saying men come first. Obviously ,i have a bias because i am a female soccer player therefore the wage gap is quite infuriating to me. I want to see more women on the sports channel. Women athletes deserve more recognition for what they do, we need to have representation in sports.

Maybe we’ll have equality one day, who knows…

⁃Stéphanie Mallick-Pilon

You’re a Hardcore Feminist by Jessica Valenti & Feminism is for Everybody by Bell Hooks

When analyzing both texts Valenti and Hooks brought up feminism in varying tones. Valenti’s writting carried a more sarcastic witty tone, whereas Hooks wrote in a more momentous manner. Jessica Valenti states several facts and real life experiences in her text, which i found easier to connect with. While Hooks elaborates on race and that feminism is for everybody, writing in a more inclusive manner.The way in which Hooks addresses the subject is more broad and does not target only a female audience. What I am implying by this is is Valenti’s text she often refers to the readers as female pronouns. E.g “ Think about it, ladies ‘’. What both can agree on is the prejudice that often comes with the word feminist, which is women who hate men.

The common belief that feminism is derogatory towards men, is obviously false. You may ask yourself what is a feminist then, if you thought this to be true, well Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines feminism as : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.

The definition of feminism i obtained from these two articles is similar to the idea of feminism that was already ingrained in my mind. I believe a feminist is someone who wants equality for all. I will have to admit i havent used the word feminist to label myself because i feared the backlash. I didn’t think it was such a big deal if i used the f- word to describe myself ,since i would support women and equality nonetheless.

There is a stigma that comes with labeling yourself as a feminist. Unfortunately many individuals see the word feminist as someone (usually a woman) who is anti- men. This is a huge misconception and is far from what is in fact reality.

The common belief on what feminism is, is that it is derogatory towards men. If that is not true ,then you may ask yourself what is a feminist then, merriam Webster’s dictionary defines feminism as : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.

However these articles made me change my perspective. I will start calling myself a feminist. Even though you dont necessarily need to label yourself to be an advocate for women’s rights, i believe that by doing so, it will influence others to gain a new perspective on feminism. What i mean by this is that if people start seeing more “feminists” in their daily lives, their view on feminism may change. When you dissociate yourself from something it makes it harder for you to connect to it.

In Jessica Valenti’s text “You’re a Hardcore Feminist. I Swear” a section that stuck out to me were lines 29-38 on page 5. “Cause don’t forget — there are a lot of people benefiting from your feeling shit about yourself”. I hadn’t realized it ,before how in marketing they want you to feel insecure since they will try to convince you that their product can ultimately “fix” you. This extract also mentioned how women are more beneficial when they are “half there”. I think that the reality is that if a women was “full there” you probably wouldn’t be able to handle it.

When i looked up Jessica Valenti i noticed how she has dedicated her whole life to gender issues. What i also discovered is that she and her daughter received a tremendous amount of hate. Personally,I enjoy watching videos to learn ,so i decided to look on YouTube and i was disgusted by all the backlash she received mainly from men. What surprised me ,was that it took me about 15 minutes to find an actual video that wasn’t speaking negatively about her. The way Jessica is able to be so strong with everything that has happened to her is something I truly admire.

After researching Bell Hooks which is a pseudonym for Gloria Jean Watkins. I discovered that it was in fact her great grandmothers name. Hooks was raised in a small segregated town in Kentucky. The community Gloria lived in helped her build thick skin, everything she had to go through has made her the person she is today. The negative and positive experiences that she faced in her neighbourhood helped shape her writings on feminism. I find it inspiring how she was able to overcome the prejudices everyone inflicted on her. I admire her resilience, that allowed her to succeed, and she was able to obtain a doctorate in English literature.

-Stéphanie Mallick Pilon